Forget Paris (1995)

As the poster said, this movie is about love after marriage!
And I particularly like this romantic comedy cause
it has some element of realism about a couples life after marriage.

Hardly do I get to see any romantic shows these days that displays this.
In most romance genre shows, we see it through a very rose-tainted lens
where everything is perfect and smooth-sailing.
It gives us the idea that the struggle ends once marriage occurs -
because there had been a "long battle" to be together.

But in reality that is not true - the struggle is much tougher once marriage occurs.
And this can be somewhat seen in this movie (though it is somewhat on the surface of a real married couple)
And I'll be honest it made me somewhat freaked out about marriage!

Because once marriage happens, you'll have to live with that person and accept all their flaws!
And also understand their personal goals in life.
Like this movie, one of their main issue was their career:

1. Ellen gave up her wonderful job in Paris to be with Mickey.

2. Mickey gave up his refereeing career to be home more with Ellen.

But later Mickey could not stand working as a car sale dealer anymore
and went back to refereeing without discussing with Ellen.

In this scene, I realized that the movie made an interesting subtle point and that is,
before marriage, there are a lot of info that may be withheld from you
and it is all these info that can or will be the struggles in a marriage.
Like in this movie, it did not occurred to me that Mickey would need to travel so much
and be away from home for so long until they got married.
and to me it made sensed that Ellen got frustrated at some point (even I would be).

Lesson 1: Try to be as honest as can be before going into a marriage.
I think this would be the most difficult thing to do for me.
Because I would want to always appear and be on my best when I am with my lover
It's easy to put on a mask for a couple of hours or a whole day to impress him.
Because we are not living together, doing this is easy!

But it's not once I am stuck for life with him
It's too much energy to put on this mask every single day, minute and second!
And that's where all the true colours comes out to light - and before I know it the marriage struggle escalates.

"Forget Paris, he(Mickey) was courting. 

They'll do ANYTHING when they're courting!"

Lucy, Forget Paris (1995)

Another thing which reminded me how scary marriage can be are the IN-LAWS!
In this movie, it displayed Ellen's ill father and how Mickey had to tolerate his abnormal yet funny behaviour.
But in reality, if it were me - I would have "died".

I mean having to deal with this ALONE everyday it's unbearable.
I know it does not seem very kind of me to say this - but it's me being honest!
which was what Mickey did - and it brought benefit as we saw Ellen sent her father to stay with her brothers.

Lesson 2: Know thy In-Laws well inside out!
To me, I find this truly important to know them super well!
It can be a very big issue if the in-laws and me have disagreements or very different values & beliefs!
Especially in a traditional Chinese culture, where filial piety is the most important virtue to adopt,
It's can be challenging to show respect, concern, support and be nice to them
when there are a lot major differences between us.

This is what I mean by knowing them well: (not sure how many of you have seen this..)

it helps to know their history! It can change your perception towards them which can assist in
making you accept their difference easier.

The final thing that I realize would be that even after marriage I would still need PERSONAL SPACE!
I have always had the thought that once married you are with each other 24/7!
Do everything together - eat - sleep - work - chill - cry - laugh etc.

But I guess after some time it gets really tiring like in this scene in Ugly Betty:

A cut scene from Ugly Betty Season 4, Ep 10 - The Passion of The Betty (2010)

Lesson 3: Allow some space to breath!
It can get pretty nerve wrecking when I am deprived of my own space
I want to do the things I enjoy doing and spend some quality time alone.
I guess this would be very important to me as I am an introvert;
I need some quality time alone to regain back my energy and thoughts.

I'm pretty sure everyone would really appreciate having their personal space like guys and their man caves!
It helps being separated from other people for awhile to sort out your thoughts & live.

"... you know, to find out who I really am, by MYSELF..."

"... who I could be, you know, WITHOUT any guy around..."

Ellen, Forget Paris (1995)

Conclusion:
I find this movie very entertaining to watch!
Get a good laugh out of it~
I love the way the story was told - using narratives from Mickey & Ellen's friend!
It makes the whole thing much more entertaining because of they way they narrated it!

Three rings of a marriage:

1. The Engagement Ring

2. The Wedding Ring &

3. The SUFFERING!!

Unknown.